


Comfort

by igottoomuchwriting



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Ace!Connor, Angst, Asexual!Connor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Light Angst, M/M, Tree Bros, boys crying, but only in the first two sentences, hints of steamy action, kinda ooc???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igottoomuchwriting/pseuds/igottoomuchwriting
Summary: Connor comes out as asexual, but then takes it back. Evan doesn't let him.





	Comfort

It was a shock to Evan when Connor came out as asexual. He wasn’t upset, no, but Connor chooses the worst times to say things. 

He chose to come out while sucking a hickey into Evan’s neck during a heated make out session.

“W-Wait, what?” Evan gasped, pushing Connor back by his shoulders. Connor reluctantly pulled back, refusing to meet Evan’s eyes.

“...Yeah,” he mumbled. 

“Connor, please look at me.” Evan kept his hands on Connor’s shoulders and waited until his boyfriend was looking him in the eyes. When he did, Evan’s heart shattered at the broken and guarded look in his eyes. 

“What, are you disgusted by me?” he snapped. 

“No, no! Connor, I would  _ never  _ be disgusted with you. It’s just…”

“Just fucking what, Hansen?” Evan stuttered and looked away to calm down his blush, before looking back.

“I’m just a little shocked because you, um, came out while… while you were, uh, licking my neck,” he finally stuttered out. Connor put on a poker face, making Evan both relieved and worried.

“Oh,” he finally spoke. “I can see how that can confuse you.”

“Yeah…” Evan chuckled. Connor placed his head on Evan’s shoulder, taking a shaky breath. Evan wrapped his arms around his back in a comforting hug. 

The couple sat in silence for a few minutes. Evan rubbed Connor’s back as Connor slowly rocked them as best as he cold with Evan still sitting on his lap.

“Can I ask a few questions?” Evan whispered. He felt Connor stiffen under his hand, but still got a nod in reply. “Is that why there are some days where you don’t like kissing me?”

Connor nodded his head and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I,” he gulped. “I love kissing you, Evan, I really do. There are some days where it’s just boring, or it won’t be pleasant, and it’ll make me uncomfortable.” Evan hummed in understandment. 

“And is that why we never go farther than… this?” Connor chuckled.

“I don’t really want to go that far.”

“O-Okay. That’s okay.” They spent the rest of the time together hugging in silence.

That was months ago, before they graduated. Evan had bought him an asecual flag at the Pride Festival, and Connor deemed it the best gift he has ever received. He hung it up in his room, taking up the whole wall by his window. It warms Evan’s heart every time he walks into his room to see the dark, grey colors. It was there for months, never moving. One day, on a cold, November day, it was gone.

“Uh, Connor?” Evan spoke. Connor hummed in acknowledgement from where he stood by his dresser. “Where is your flag?”

“My what?” Connor asked, turning around.

“Your flag. The asexual one I got you.” He pulled his eyes from the empty space the flag once hung to look at Connor. 

They held eye contact for a few seconds, before Connor turned back around.

“I don’t need it anymore,” he blanked. Evan blinked in surprise.

“O-Oh. Okay. Can I, uh, ask why?” he cautiously continued.

“I’m not asexual anymore.” Evan was becoming more and more confused. When had Connor decided he wasn’t asexual?

“Since when?” 

“Does it fucking matter?” he snapped.

“No! It doesn’t! I-I was just saying-”

“Saying  _ what? _ ”

“Uh, I was-was saying that um, that I was surprised because you, uh, youneverreallysaidanythingand-”

“Evan!” Connor raised his voice, though not to a yell. Evan snapped his mouth shut quickly. Connor sighed and ran his hands over his face. 

“Please, slow down.” Evan nodded his head, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“You usually talk to me when you, uh, starting questioning things. So-So I’m just wondering what brought this on.” He whispered the last part, playing with the bottom of his shirt as his eyes drifted to the ground.

There was a tense silence in the room. The only thing that was heard was Evan’s breathing, as if Connor was holding his breath.

“What I feel is normal,” Connor finally spoke, voice tense. Evan shrugged his shoulder, not lifting his eyes. He still didn’t understand, but he worried he would make Connor mad. 

He heard Connor sigh and suddenly Evan was engulfed in a hug, hands behind his head and on his lower back, with Connor placing his head against Evan’s.

“I’m not mad,” he mumbled. Evan nodded his head.

“Who, uh, told you that you feel is, um, normal?” Connor took a deep breath.

“A girl at work.”

“Is she also ace?” Connor shook his head.

“No, she’s as straight as a board.” Evan creased his eyebrows. He pushed away from Connor and gave him a concerned look.

“Then why do you believe her?”

“Because she…” he trailed off. Evan kept his eyes on Connor while Connor looked past Evan.

“Connor?” Evan whispered, concerned. Connor just shook his head. Evan pulled back and placed his hands on Connor’s shoulders. “Connor, it’s okay,” he mumbled.

Connor shook his head, look of confusion and hurt etched on his face. 

“I don’t know,” he finally whispers. “She was so evident, and all her evidence pointed to her being  _ right  _ and I just- fuck, I couldn’t even trust my fucking self.” Connor pushed himself away from Evan and quickly turned away. Evan watched him clench his fists and try to calm his breathing.

“Connor, it’s okay,” Evan tried in a calming voice. 

“No it’s fucking not!” Connor yelled. Evan grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around.

“Connor,” he spoke with a shaky voice. “I get why you’re angry, but can- can you please sit down?” Connor opened his mouth, as if he was going to yell again, but immediately closed it.  With a huff, he sat down on his bed and fisted his hands into his hair, looking at the bed spread. Evan watched him to make sure he didn’t do anything to hurt himself. 

Once he was sure that Connor would stay there, he turned to his closet. Anytime Connor wants to hide something without getting rid of it, he always puts it in there. 

Evan slowly opened the door, glancing back to make sure Connor was still on the bed before turning back to see the flag right in the middle of a pile of clothes. Evan quickly grabbed it and shut the closet door, walking back to his boyfriend. 

Evan sits down next to Connor and places the now unfolded flag over his shoulder the way he would with a blanket. Connor tenses up and his hands shoot to grab the flag, crossing his arms over his chest, but stops. Evan places his hand on the hand closest to him and lays his head on his shoulder.

“This is you. You don’t have to hide it, and no one can tell you otherwise.” Connor turns his hand to grab Evan’s and gives it a squeeze. Evan says nothing when he feels Connor’s body start to shake, and feels a water drop on his hand. He just squeezes his hand and gives him all the comfort he can.

**Author's Note:**

> I was projecting. Not as much, but still kinda. I always question being ace. I hate it.  
> ANYWAY! I hope you enjoyed. There's not much to know about this.
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr!: igottoomuchwriting


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